Coffin Dodgers

My Kart Is Augmented

Buy an upgrade. Good thing you old types like a bit of DIY, eh?

We Can Rebuild Him

Fully upgrade a single kart aspect, putting the younger generation and their custom cars to shame with your far superior experience in craftsmanship. And less body kits.

Million Dollar Granddad

Fully upgrade your kart, showing your grandkids the money they could have had if they were nicer.

GrimAced

Win your first race, proving that old people everywhere actually can drive at a moderate pace.

During The War...

Run over an opponent’s fallen body, adding insult to an already pretty painful injury. You monster.

Technophobic

Use an EMP 20 times successfully - who says old people can’t use technology? You do, apparently.

Feeling Lucky?

Hose 20 oldies with the Uzi. The world’s slowest police chase is going to star you, you criminal.

Am I Missing An Eyebrow?

Expertly explode 20 pensioners with the use of a rocket, causing mass havoc and outcry from the Royal Aeronautical Society.

Slick Moves Like Jagger

Slip up 20 people’s Sunday drive with some oil, making you no better than the young’ins who litter, you hypocrite.

Luckily My Shield Will Protect Me

Successfully use a shield to block 20 horrible whippersnapper’s attacks against your innocent old self.

Gone In Many Seconds

Boost without hurtling far off course and crashing too horribly into the scenery 20 times.

He Was A Skater Boy

Keyword being was. Knock 5 skaters off the road.

Paperboy The Hard Way

Run over 5 bikers. We know that drivers hate them, but you’re in mobility scooters! That’s just nasty.

Death Defier

Get gold in all races in the village, telling Grim he’s not having your soul tonight.

Death Derider

Get gold in all races in the town, insulting Grim’s efficiency by evading his grasp twice now.

Death Despiser

Get gold in all races in the farm, making Grim REALLY want your soul now.

Death Defiler

Get gold in all races in the graveyard, ruining Grim’s happy place.

Death Decider

Get gold in all races in the showdown, winning your fate and telling Grim to stop harassing old people all over the world.